Bug bites.

Yesterday something bit me on my shoulder area. My arm went numb. And today it just hurts like if it was sore from a shot. It's weird. On a brighter note, I can finally start working tomorrow. I was starting to think this wasn't going to happen, my job. But things are slowly falling into place. I've made a few realizations in the past few days. Running in the mornings puts me in a good mood for the rest of the day. I can tolerate more and I am happier. Also, when you group all your computers to one large computer somewhere, that large computer will fail and take all the other computers with it. The MVD (as AZ likes to call their DMV) has had their computers down since Saturday I believe. According to them, the computers would be up again yesterday at noon. We went today again, they are still down, but only for drivers licenses and identifications. Of course I needed to get an identification. Anyway, I've also come to realize that something small can be blown way out of proportion quite easily. Take my bug bite for example. My mom slowly freaked because my arm was numb. Then she tells my sister who tells her all sorts of symptoms to watch for. Of course this worries my husband who loves researching my ailments on the internet. This just worries him more. All this "loveliness" culminating with me trying to sleep but being afraid to die because my throat felt like it was closing up. A bug bite created all this paranoia. A bug bite. It got way out of proportion very quickly and today it is all fine. I'm not afraid to die anymore and my arm is still numb and sore.
Life is lovely. Really lovely, no quotation marks. Even though all these small things happen that I manage to blow out of proportion, nothing of a large proportion actually happens. And that is awesome. I used to wish something big would happen, but usually big things are negative. (Although getting married was big and that was good) But right now, life is going it's course and I don't mind that. I enjoy this lovely journey of life with my amazing husband.

Ponderings

So I've been pondering. Many many ponderings. Why? That's a big one. It's the question almost everyone dreads. Parents dread those silly questions from their children that begin with "why." That pesky question that lingers in the back of your mind, "why?" Or when you ask a question and the answer isn't an answer, instead it is "why?" It isn't like the other W's. It ask for a deeper answer. The ultimate answer. The motive. The meaning. And it is associated with negativity. I posted "...but why?" on my Facelibro status. And the first comment that status gets is "What happened?..." I don't feel like why should be related to negativity. Why can be positive. Instead of why, why not? It is a simple addition to the word that makes it sound not so negative anymore. Don't ask why, ask why not?

On to the next pondering, fear. Fear of loneliness. Fear of losing. Fear that comes from not knowing how to put it into words. Into something cohesive anyone can understand, not just the inner workings of my convoluted brain. I can't seem to put this fear into words. Maybe it's fear of hurting someone very dear or being hurt by someone very dear. It is different fears that lead to another fear and they fester in my same convoluted brain. Maybe it is trying to escape, but the labyrinth that is my brain is trapping it. Either way it is fear that just gets in the way. I need it out so I can once again be the hopeless romantic LUNAtic I once was.

Next pondering, taking it slow. Whatever it may be. Obviously nothing happens overnight except freaking zits. But that is a frustration not a pondering. What exactly does taking it slow entail? Most people relate taking it slow to a relationship. That is not what my taking it slow is about. It is past that. It is more about growing and maturing. But the kid I am on the inside refuses to leave, so I will never fully grow and mature. The problem is, what if one of us grows and matures and leaves the other behind? What then? What if one does not feel like waiting any longer? What if frustration settles in and doesn't allow them to wait? (This is right around where fear comes in, then one would be alone and the other would move on) I don't have a problem with taking it slow, but I wonder if taking it slow together is possible. When you are at different levels, you arrive to your goal at different times or one isn't quite ready when you arrive.

Ponderings continue, other people. I don't mind people as much as I used to. But I am still not at the place I should be when it comes to  socializing and such. I still rather it be just him and I. I don't care for others to be there if they don't need to be. I understand the need for other people every so often, but I prefer it not to be "so often." And it isn't, but I rather take it slow alone with him and not with other people. Other people can be so inopportune. They add even more complexity to something that was already complex to begin with. I'm not ready to invite other people to share in our goals and such. I haven't even had him a long time all alone. It's only been a month and some days and already I'd have to share. I'm not ready for that yet. I hate being alone with him and yet other people take him away. What is the point of that? Being alone, but not really because one of you is somewhere else with someone else. It is an angry pondering.

Unfortunately my ponderings haven't been too positive in the last few days. It's dragging me down. I don't like it. I need to think of other things. I'm sure these ponderings will recur, but so do most ponderings and I can deal with that. On a more positive note, I no longer lack a job! Maybe that will help push away these ponderings, working. Hmmmm...soon enough.
I'm done now.

Of laundry and job lacking...

Another week has begun, it's just another week I lack a job and laundry piles up (regardless of whether I just washed this weekend or not, which I did). I guess laundry is a job in itself, but I don't like this job. Homemaking. Ew. I'm down to keep a clean and comfortable home, don't get me wrong. But I can't just stay home...it's not me. It feels very limiting. There is always something to clean or wash or other homemaking type words. I just can't be inside all day. I like being outside or at least seeing other creatures! Job lacking sucks. But staying at home all day is what really kills me. I want to see people while I do some sort of labor. Or provide them a service. Besides if I stayed home all day, I'd eventually stop cleaning and just sit there bored or watching TV or some other menial activity. NO! I refuse to become that person. Of course, to all the homemakers out there, I commend you. You do something I could never do for very long. Homemaking is not a bad thing, it's just a bad thing for me. I'm sure some would love to stay at home decorating, cleaning, washing and whatnot. And I hope someday they get their wish to stay home. As for me, I want a job. A money paying job that allows me to experience other creatures. But this has gone on long enough. My laundry is only half folded...

In other news, we got an apartment. Finally. It makes me happy.

Okay, I'm done now. "Later days"

30 days - two silly buffalafalos

Marriage. So many long for it and so many others dread even the thought. I was caught in the middle. I wanted love and a partner, but marriage seemed so grown up. Well I now find myself married to the love of my life and my partner in crime for forever and a half. I'm still the same kid, just married to another kid. Life is funny. You hope and plan for something and you get a completely opposite something. I never thought that at 19 I would already be married. I thought I'd be independent, but not married. Attached to another for forever and a half. And now that is exactly what I am. I am happy. Oh so happy!! I am still the same kid inside, but now I can be a kid with someone else. Someone else to show the little things I find in the grass. Someone else to explore new places with. Someone else that protects me from the dark at night. Someone else who loves this weirdo kid. Some kid who makes this kid eternally happy. And it has only been one month! No matter how wrong things go (or maybe they go right just not the right we hoped for) everything is okay. We never stop loving each other. In only 30 days I have seen the amazing life that lies ahead of us. Two kids in love like there is no tomorrow. Two silly buffalafalos.

99 days

And so we've reached the double digits in this endless wait. I guess it really doesn't seem too long ago that it was 160 days, but the wait is, nevertheless, still endless. The good thing is that there are other things to occupy my time while I wait 99 more days. Weddings seem to spread like cancer this year...well spread like something nice. Marriage isn't a cancer, I just had no other comparison at that moment. Either way, there are 2 other weddings this year, one of them this weekend. In Mexico. It's quite lovely to travel and all, but I cannot wait until it's only him and I traveling. And then another in Vegas. Vegas weddings are also very popular, last year my brother was married in Vegas. But not just little chapel weddings, actual ceremonies with official looking officiants! It is all quite exciting, but frustrating, why can't it be June already?! So amidst the traveling and weddings, there is PLANNING. It is tiring. I figured it would be stressful, but it can get so...boring...sometimes. It is a horrible thing to say it seems, but it is the truth. Looking over pictures of hairstyles, cakes, centerpieces, etc can get old very quickly. But I am glad to say, most of it is over with. Invitations? Check. Centerpieces? In progress. Favors? In progress. Cake? Check. Hairstyle? In progress. Dress? Bought.
It is also stressful though, so much money goes into this one day. Where does all this money come from?! I try not to worry too much. It's true, I'm only getting married once. Might as well make it amazing. Jeje. But truly, I am nervous for all the attention. I don't like getting attention from everyone. I like being the center of his world, but only his. Anyone else, it's just weird and makes me nervous. I can definitely do without it. But one day won't kill me and afterward HAWAII! :) Yay for banana pancakes and amazing beaches.
I won't say there are any downsides to this, I can't see any. Waiting is frustrating, but already a year has passed and now there are only 99 days left. I see him everyday and he makes me happy. I can't complain. I love him and he makes me love my life.
Well I think that is all, I just wanted to rant for a small while.


P.S.
Geocaching.com  do it.

El sol y la luna

"Cuando el Sol y la Luna se encontraron por primera vez, se apasionaron perdidamente y a partir de ahí comenzaron a vivir un gran amor.

Sucede que el mundo aun no existía y el día  que Dios decidió crearlo, les dio entonces un toque  final... ¡El brillo!

Quedó decidido también que el Sol iluminaría el día y que la Luna iluminaría la noche, siendo así, estarían obligados a vivir separados.

Les invadió una gran tristeza  y cuando se dieron cuenta de que nunca más se encontrarían, LA Luna  fue quedándose cada vez más angustiada. A pesar del brillo dado por Dios,  fue tornándose Solitaria.

EL Sol a su vez, había ganado un título de nobleza "Astro Rey", pero eso tampoco le hizo feliz.

Dios, viendo esto, les llamó y les explicó: - No debéis  estar tristes, ambos ahora  poseéis un brillo propio. Tú, Luna, iluminarás las noches frías y calientes, encantarás a los enamorados y serás frecuentemente protagonista de hermosas poesías. En cuanto a ti, Sol, sustentarás ese título porque serás el más importante de los astros, iluminarás la tierra durante el día, proporcionaras calor al ser humano y tu simple presencia hará a las personas más felices.

La Luna se entristeció mucho más con su terrible destino y lloró amargamente... y el Sol, al verla sufrir tanto, decidió que no podría dejar abatirse más, ya que tendría que darle fuerzas y ayudarle a aceptar lo que Dios había decidido.

Aún así, su preocupación era tan grande que resolvió hacer un pedido especial a Él: - Señor, ayuda a la Luna por favor,  es más frágil que yo, no soportará la soledad...

Y Dios...en su inmensa bondad... creo entonces las estrellas para hacer compañía a la Luna.

La Luna siempre que está muy triste recurre a las estrellas, que hacen de todo para consolarla, pero casi nunca lo consiguen.

Hoy, ambos viven así... separados, el Sol finge que es feliz, y la Luna no consigue disimular su tristeza.

El Sol arde de pasión por la Luna y ella vive en las tinieblas de su añoranza. Dicen que la orden de Dios era que la Luna debería de ser siempre llena y luminosa, pero no lo consiguió.... porque es mujer, y una mujer tiene fases.

Cuando es feliz, consigue ser Llena, pero cuando es infeliz es menguante y cuando es menguante ni siquiera es posible apreciar su brillo.

Luna y Sol siguen su destino. El, solitario pero fuerte; ella, acompañada de estrellas, pero débil.

Los hombres intentan, constantemente, conquistarla, como si eso fuese posible. Algunos han ido incluso hasta ella, pero han vuelto siempre solos. Nadie jamás consiguió traerla hasta la tierra, nadie, realmente, consiguió conquistarla, por más que lo intentaron.

Sucede que Dios decidió que ningún amor en este mundo fuese del todo imposible, ni siquiera el de la Luna y el del  Sol... Fue entonces que Él creó el eclipse.

Hoy Sol y Luna viven esperando ese instante,  esos raros momentos que les fueron concedidos y que tanto cuesta, sucedan.

Cuando mires al cielo, a partir de ahora, y veas que el Sol cubre la Luna, es porque se acuesta sobre ella y comienzan a amarse. Es a ese acto de amor al que se le dio el nombre de eclipse.

Es importante recordar que el brillo de su éxtasis es tan grande que se aconseja no mirar al cielo en ese momento, tus ojos pueden cegarse al ver tanto amor."

Esta es la leyenda del sol  y la luna. La leyenda que nosotros no vivimos.

hasta que el sol se escape con la luna....

Ayer desaparecí. Y hoy llovió. Dicen que solo cuando desaparezco puedo estar con el Sol. Pero no es cierto. Al menos en mi caso no. Somos el sol y la luna personificados. Somos dos personas que se encontraron y pudieron vivir el amor del sol y la luna, que ellos no pueden vivir. Lo vivimos por ellos y por nosotros. Nos amamos con tanta intensidad, como la luz que crean el sol en el dia y la luna en la noche. La única diferencia es que no estamos separados a todo tiempo. Nosotros siempre estamos juntos. Ni la puesta del sol ni la salida de la luna nos separa. En los eclipses nuestro amor se siente mas, es mas intenso. El sol no quiere salir, quiere estar con la luna tan solo unos momentos mas. Las nubes esconden a el sol y en la noche esconden a la luna. Pero no para que puedan estar juntos, sino para que no se puedan ver. En nuestro amor han habido nubes que trataron de cubrirnos del uno al otro, pero no pudieron. Nuestro amor es como una luz intensa, ninguna nube nos puede cubrir. Y nunca morira nuestro amor, como el de la luna real y el sol real.

Wedding Dresses

I am in fact getting married. It's so weird to think that this time last year, marriage was such a far away, almost impossible, thing to me. I wasn't the type of girl that dreamed of how her wedding dress would look like or who her husband would be. I didn't plan it in my mind ages before it actually came close to happening. Marriage had always been unreal to me. And no I do not come from a dysfunctional family, my parents are happily married and have been for the past 31 years. So why was it unreal to me? Because...I just didn't see myself as a wife. Like any person, I wanted to be loved, but marriage always seemed like such a huge deal such a huge commitment and for some, such a huge mistake. To me, I would meet guys and date and the whole deal, but marriage was reserved for the older years (older to me was 25 and over). But then I met him. I cannot say my plan was to marry him since we started dating. I was uneasy, I was nervous, I was cautious. But mostly, I was happy. I was loved, it was such a foreign feeling. I embraced it and then it was like everything I once thought was upside down. Marriage wasn't at all like I thought. Sure it is still a big commitment, but it shouldn't be something scary. It is exciting. It is happiness, materialized. I was scared, I was afraid it would never be for me. And then all of a sudden it was. I was happy, I AM happy. I love being loved and loving. I love that out of the 7 billion people in the whole world, there was one for me. That we could meet while we are so young and marry even this young. Who says getting married means settling down? Not at all, you meet the right person and all your dreams can come true. I guess marriage was settling down to the old Dany, but this Dany doesn't  agree. Settling and settling down happens when you give up, I found the one who won't ever give up along with me. NOW, what does this have to do with wedding dresses? Well I'm sure there is a connection, but mainly I just started typing and the above came out. But I am going to pick up my wedding dress this weekend. And out of so many dresses, I found the perfect one as well. Not the best connection, but it is something.
Happiness and life seem contradictory. But that's because you make it so. Make it not so and you'll see.


--
LUNA

My weakness

So I have always been into super heroes. And I hope that it is common knowledge that super heroes all have a weakness. So when my mind wanders and my imagination runs wild, I can become a super hero. But because all super heroes must have a weakness, I must figure out what mine is. Money is not it. I could live with little or no money. Possessions, I am not a hoarder. Living independently for the first time in my life, I have realized the worthlessness of most possessions. Things I once found so valuable are packed away in boxes that are who knows where now. ...but that is a rant for another day. Okay so I've ruled out materialistic things that could in theory ruin a super hero. The next logical weakness would be some sort of element or mineral. But that is not it either. I'm not weak like that. My weakness is something much more flesh like. It is someone. It is actually a he. He is my weakness. It's as if my common sense turns to mush when I'm around him. I don't think in terms of I, I think in terms of we. He can influence me to do whatever whenever. Some may think, what a boring weakness. But truly think, it's like being out of the controls of your mind. He takes over my mind. It is difficult to think of anything else. It seems so scary to think. And then I come back to reality and my imagination rests for a minute. I realize that he really is my weakness, but because I am only a silly girl with a big imagination it is a lovely weakness. It is what I always wanted and never realized I wanted it until I had it. It is what happens when you fall in love. And I have indeed fallen very deeply in love with him. And that makes me happy. That's all.

Happiness and love.

Love, it's that emotion that people try their whole life's to find and receive. Happiness, it's what happens when you find love. I found love and happiness found me. I am a negative person, I am generally guyish even though I'm a girl, I am a cynic, a self proclaimed existentialist. I was all of that. And then I found love and I gave love and happiness found me. I am not as negative, I am girly to a certain extent, I have hope, I care. I am happy. It is a difficult concept to grasp. That a complete stranger can love you for you just because. But is it really just because? Something about you attracted that other person right? Either way, they love you, they love YOU, enough to want to spend the rest of their life with you. How?? Why? I feel that way, I love him so much! He makes me so happy! I loved him and I had only known him for a few months. How? I cannot understand it myself and I am going through it. I often find myself pondering it. But I don't think I'll ever understand. Maybe I wouldn't be able to take it if I understood. Maybe it is something larger than humans can grasp. What is more important is that I found it! I found what some people don't find until they only have a few years of life left. What most people search for so long for. People seem to get so close to it, but something ends it. Something? No, not something, they do it to themselves. They don't fight for it. I made a promise to him and to myself. I found something no one can take away from me. No one can take my love away because I won't let them. Love is worth fighting for. He is the reason I fight. I love him and he loves me. It's as simple as that. The only ones who could end that are ourselves. It used to scare me that so many acquaintances were leaving their partners of years. And I thought, if it happened to them, it could happen to me. But even though it can, I won't let it. He won't let it. WE won't let it.
I am happy. Because of him. I love him. So much. It's that easy. That's all. ♥

...it's been a while.

So it's been a while since I last wrote. I've returned to the love of my life and life is good. I'm getting married and life couldn't be more perfect, right? Not right... there is always something. Why? Because life isn't easy. Life is well, life. It sucks. But you should just take a day at a time. Some days are good and some days are not so good. But days are never "bad." Just not good. And it all depends on how you look at it. I am a pessimist by nature, which could be good sometimes as contradicting as that sounds, negativity being good. Ja! But seriously, life is so much better, even when not so good things happen, if you are positive. I work toward that everyday, even if others don't see my progress. Positivity. It seems like it would be easy right? But not to a born pessimist. But life must go on. And the day will end and a new day will begin. As long as you don't carry over the negativity from the previous day/night, it should be like beginning anew. DISCLAIMER: All the aforementioned is easier said than done. But don't give up, keep trying and things will get better.

La Sirena - Maná

aqui esta el video de la cancion....

"De repente desperto, convertida en sirena, recostada en la arena, en la mar..."

La letra de una canción no muy conocida de la banda Maná. El otro dia estaba en el carro con destino a San Diego. Y la verdad no me acuerdo de mucho de mi niñez, lo que si recuerdo es estar en el carro en los dias mas calientes del verano escuchando a las canciones mas clásicas de Maná. Y pues quise regresar a esos tiempos, me parece que las personas siempre piensan que los viejos tiempos eran los mejores, pero la verdad los tiempos no cambiaron, la gente cambio. Pero me voy desviando...ahí íbamos y yo escuchando Maná. Tienen tantas canciones que se me olvidan algunas. Y salio la canción de "La Sirena" del álbum Sueños Líquidos, mi favorito. Y yo soy de esas personas que de verdad escuchan la letra de las canciones. Y pues esta canción me pego profundo. En este momento no puedo estar con mi novio y siento como que esta canción explica muchos de mis sentimientos. Solo quiero escapar y encontrarlo como la muchacha de la canción. Y me gustaría despertar y encontrarme en los brazos de mi amado. Pero es solo un sueño....y mi amado no esta aquí cuando yo despierto. Pero saber que algún dia asi sera la vida, despertare a mi amado a un lado de mi o abrazándome. Sere la sirena mas feliz de todo el mundo! Pero por ahora es solo un sueño...

Pero por eso mi blog se llama La Sirena...hasta que encuentre otra canción con la que me identifico mas...

ADVENTURES OF PEPE (and Gustavo)

So today, that "boredom" crap tried to surface, but I've felt creative today so I wrote a story about Pepe. Pepe, my friends, is my monkey friend. A picture of him and his monkey friend, Gustavo, will be posted along with this short story...

The Adventures of Pepe (and Gustavo) -WORKING TITLE-

It was a day like any other. Boredom ran rampant and Pepe the monkey was at home moping around. As Pepe sat on the couch looking at a rather interesting spot on the wall, his IMAGINATION kicked in. The spot was no longer a simple spot, it slowly transformed into a black hole. The hole started to get larger and larger and Pepe found himself unable to hold on, even his tail couldn't save him this time! Like a vacuum, the black hole sucked Pepe and his tail right in. Pepe remained collected although his facial expression said otherwise. He thought he would be engulfed by darkness, but instead he found himself floating through what seemed like a red lava lamp. The space he was floating through became narrower and narrower until a small circle of light was all he could see. Now Pepe is unlike any other monkey. His head is huge like a basketball, it looks like he swallowed a few tennis balls and his arms and legs are long and lanky. The hole was the size of a golf ball and Pepe thought, "There is no way I'm fitting through there." But as he floated closer and closer, either he became smaller or the hole became bigger because Pepe fit with room to spare. What he saw once he jumped out of the circle of light confounds him to this day. It was a land of random nonsensicalness. There were old men reciting mathematics, ghost butterflies appearing and disappearing, noises sounding at random intervals and so much more. The walls of the place were black and white, rainbow colors, wooden, sideways, stripped, argyled and any other design you could think of. Everything had an odd texture, it was soft and hard at the same time, it was fuzzy and spiky, but caused no harm when touched. Now Pepe is a very inquisitive monkey, so he likes to lick things. Everything tasted, BLAND. Well this confounded Pepe,s o he pondered it for a long while and finally realized, he couldn't smell or was it that there were no scents? In any case, this was a problem. Pepe was determined to return smell to this place, so kept walking until he came to a peculiar area that looked paint splattered. He spun in a circle as the paint splatter surrounded him, then with a loud crack it started raining paint. Curiously, Pepe was not getting wet at all. So he looked up to find out why and saw that he was shielded by a great big nimbus cloud, much like those which had been forming at home. Pepe found this situation very queer and decided he must go up to the nimbus cloud. Pepe was concentrating on finding a way up to the cloud when he realized he was floating. His tail had become like a propeller and he was floating up to the great big nimbus cloud. Once up there, Pepe saw that this cloud had the fuzzy, spiky texture so he was careful to step on it, but soon realized there was no danger. The cloud seemed to go on for forever, but in reality it only spanned a few yards. Toward the middle of the cloud, Pepe spotted a small brown speck. He walked toward it and the brown speck turned into a tiny monkey. Pepe said, "ODA!" The tiny monkey was momentarily confused, but then realized it was only a greeting. He introduced himself as Gustavo. Pepe was excited to meet another being in this strange place. He had so many questions for Gustavo, but decided that maybe the tiny monkey wasn't as friendly as he seemed. So Pepe stuck to the basics, where was Gustavo from, how long he had been in this place, what was up with the cloud, etc. After the small questioning session, Pepe was a bit more trusting but still wary. Pepe told Gustavo of the smell gone missing. After some pondering, Gustavo realized it was true. Gustavo had been in this land a loooooong time...but that's a story for another time. Gustavo told Pepe of the wise Parrot and said it would be best to ask him where the smell had gone. So the two set of on the nimbus cloud (which, coincidentally, was also a mode of transportation) in search of the wise Parrot. They floated for what seemed like ages to Pepe, but truly only a short amount of time had lapsed. Pepe's eyelids were getting droopy when the nimbus came to a halt. Up on a clay covered mountain they found the wise Parrot who bore a strong resemblance to the great revolutionary hero el Che Guevara. They asked this wise Parrot what had become of the smells and the Parrot replied in rhyme: :If your olfactories you've lost / a solution can be found / at no cost / float down to the ground / where you will find / a sight that blows the find / swallow one complete / to gain the sense so sweet." Utterly confused, the pair floated down wondering what sight awaited them. At first this place looked like an ordinary grassy field, but soon they saw mushrooms rising, growing as they rose. Pepe quickly realized that to swallow a mushroom whole it would have to be smaller. So he ran to the field as fast as he could and ripped two brightly colored mushrooms. And as soon as he ripped them off the dirt, they stopped growing. He made his way carefully to Gustavo and handed him the smaller mushroom. They both swallowed the fungi at the same time, but Pepe shut his eyes tight in fear of what would happen. He waited a few seconds and opened his eyes. He found himself on the couch at home. A bit disoriented, he realized it had all been a very strange convoluted dream. Pepe was quite relieved, he was afraid he would never return. *MEEP* Startled by the noise, Pepe almost jumped. It was coming from the armrest of the couch. Very slowly Pepe looked over at it...he saw............GUSTAVO!

(TO BE CONTINUED...)

Long distance relationships

So most people go through one at some point in their life's. It doesn't have to be an amorous relationship, it can be familiar, friendship, etc. The same ideas apply. At first it seems like it will be immensely difficult. Later as time goes on, you get used to the idea. You learn ways of talking to the other person more or seeing them more often. You learn to cope. But time wears on and your schedules conflict or it doesn't seem worth it anymore. You start talking less and less each time, then what? This is where I'm at right now. We talked as often as possible in the beginning, we even found a way to see each other over a weekend (this is an amorous relationship). Things seemed to flow smoothly and time seemed to go faster for a little while. But then we stopped talking as much at this point, it's good if I even get a phone call every night. Before it was a phone call every night and I must have gotten used to that, something I should never do, get used to things. I'm afraid that this will turn into a phone call every few days to a phone call once a week to maybe once every two weeks and then once a month. What do I do then? Maybe he can deal with minimal contact, but I can't. Maybe he doesn't want to deal with it anymore, but I'll never know because we don't talk. Let's say we make it, what will it be like when I return? Will things be the same, will it still work out? It's a constant subject that walks around my head. I can deal with things not being the same, but if they turn to the worst I don't know how long I could deal with. What if not seeing each other for so long has gotten us used to not being with each other? Will we still love each other as much as we did before? I hope that we love each other more and everything works out, but there are always "what if's?" Nothing is ever certain, that's why I shouldn't get used to things. That's why I'm a self proclaimed drifter. If nothing is ever constant, I'll never get hurt by CHANGE. I'll always embrace it. I know it's unrealistic, but a girl can dream. I'm uncertain when it comes to long distance relationships, does absence really make the heart grow fonder? Or is that just a saying that keeps people going? So many questions,twice as many answers. I will not know until I live it. Every situation is different. What worked for you might not for me. But it is good to keep your mind open, my motto is "Try most everything at least once." If you keep trying you can keep learning. Life is a challenge, but try it and you will be surprised. Make the most of what you have now and cherish that. You may never know what you had until you lose it. It's better to enjoy it when you have it than to miss it when you don't. And with that, my RANT ends.

P.S.
Writing is a great way to rid yourself of "boredom" and a great relief. Maybe people aren't reading, but you got it out. :) "Later days!"- The Weekenders

Embracing change.

CHANGE. It's inevitable. People change, circumstances change, life changes. EVERYTHING. But many people fight it. They are too comfortable with their routines and any thing that could deviate from normalcy is a threat. Not all change is bad as is true that not all change is good. What is true is that CHANGE is, well, change. It is a deviation from the ordinary. Being s restless drifter, CHANGE is an amazing thing to me. It allows my life to flow from one point to another without becoming adjusted to one thing. People often take for granted small changes they can make and never stray from ordinary. Even a small CHANGE will cause a rift in normalcy. I welcome CHANGE. It is inevitable, fighting it would be futile. At some point in everyone's life, there will be some form of CHANGE. It can be as simple as a change in hair products and as major as a life changing event (pregnancy, college, etc.) I also believe that CHANGE is necessary in everyone's life. I can't even imagine what life would be like if everything remained the same. Like a cartoons life, you'd wear the same clothes and do the same things day after day. I'd get that "stuck" feeling. CHANGE fights "boredom", so if you fight CHANGE you embrace "boredom." I for one am not about to embrace something that I believe does not exist. So don't fight CHANGE, it isn't going to go away. EMBRACE THE c h a n g e.

boredom and life

It seems like in everyone's life, at some point or other, there is this feeling of being "stuck." Well this "stuck" feeling may feel like boredom, but it isn't. It is habit, it is normalcy. It is being at the same job for years and not having gone up or down or left or right or any other direction. I am a restless person and I cannot stay doing the same thing for too long. I need to keep moving, I'm a drifter by nature. I like to say I'm a gypsy, but not to the full extent. Not everyone is like that, but everyone to some degree will feel "stuck." When that feeling surfaces, FIGHT IT! How exactly does one fight "stuck?" Well add a new activity to your life. meet new people. Join a book club, a jogging club, a photography club. Paint that picture you have always wanted to, share that with the world. This change in your life doesn't have to be drastic. Just don't be the ordinary you for a little while. Do something you normally wouldn't do. Simplicity is key for some, others need something drastic. Quit your job, look for another job. Maybe just find a side job. But get rid of that "stuck" feeling. It causes problems. You feel like you aren't doing all you could be, you become dissatisfied with everything and everyone. You can even go as far as pushing everyone away. What is the good in any of that? So instead, enrich your life! Go do something beautiful or something interesting. Take a trip! Even if it is just to the other side of town. You never know what awaits. "No puedes criticar a algo sin conocerlo primero." (Me Vale - Mana) Go out there and FIGHT! boredom.

Sickness and boredom

So when you get sick you are often sent to the infernal place called bed for bed-rest! I say infernal because it almost convinces you that you are "bored", but only when you are sick. Well depending on the severity of your sickness you will either be asleep most of the time or awake most of the time. If you have good friends then they will be right there with you trying to make you feel better, even if they get sick in the process. If not, then you better have books or a laptop. Or if you feel exceptionally daring you can write your own story. You can draw. You can photograph from a different angle. Of course while bedridden many of us do not feel like doing something too strenuous or using our brains. It is another great opportunity to expand your music library. But there are always things to do even if you are sick. So sickness advice, you're not bored, sleep or do something you'll be behind enough as it is!

Traveling and boredom

So traveling, the actual act of driving, flying, walking, etc. somewhere can seem "boring." Especially to kids. But like everything else it doesn't have to be. You may be driving, listening to music, trying to keep the driver awake, etc. Of course there are all those road games and activities, but that can definitely get old. I find myself deep in thought while traveling, usually I'm listening to music as well. But there are so many more entertaining things to do. Depending on the people you are with of course. A family vacation will never be like a road trip with friends. People watching is definitely a fun thing to do in either case though. When you are driving through a city people are bound to driving to work or from work. Many times I've seen people singing and dancing to music only they can hear. That is fun. Life on mute can be extremely hilarious. Another thing that is always fun is taking pictures, but from creative angles. Make it seems as if your car is pulling a boat. Maybe you are a giant that can grab a cow with your fingers. I don't know, be creative! Scream to the world because if you keep driving no one will know who screamed. Stop and make a new friend. Although picking up hitchhikers might not be a good idea. On a plane, your options are much more limited, but messing with sleeping people is always fun. Also being with the right person is always fun. A person that will challenge you to do more craziness, but who knows when enough is enough. So I guess today's non-boredom "key point?" is: Sometimes the journey can be more fun (and less boring) than the destination!

Sometimes day are just too busy....

Sometimes the problem isn't boredom, but too much to do. It seems to leave no time for beating boredom or adventure. These days suck. Plain and simple. But like boredom, you can make them interesting. When you're overloaded sometimes the best thing to do is take a mental health day! Sure you'll be behind, but at least you won't go SANE from just working all the time! It is necessary to have adventures every so often because otherwise life would be bland, like a naked toasted bagel. Cream cheese adds some interest, but add some salmon cream cheese (if that's your thing, it certainly isn't mine!) and you have an interesting bagel. So find your salmon cream cheese. Whether that be skydiving, meeting your next door neighbor, or talking to people in the grocery store. Whatever your thing is, go for it! But no one ever wants to only have salmon cream cheese on their bagel. Sometimes they want a wheat bagel or a jalapeño bagel. Maybe you want peanut butter on the bagel or maybe you want a sandwich bagel. Treat each day like a new bagel! Even if it is a busy bagel, you can always choose the topping or how to use the bagel!