30 days - two silly buffalafalos

Marriage. So many long for it and so many others dread even the thought. I was caught in the middle. I wanted love and a partner, but marriage seemed so grown up. Well I now find myself married to the love of my life and my partner in crime for forever and a half. I'm still the same kid, just married to another kid. Life is funny. You hope and plan for something and you get a completely opposite something. I never thought that at 19 I would already be married. I thought I'd be independent, but not married. Attached to another for forever and a half. And now that is exactly what I am. I am happy. Oh so happy!! I am still the same kid inside, but now I can be a kid with someone else. Someone else to show the little things I find in the grass. Someone else to explore new places with. Someone else that protects me from the dark at night. Someone else who loves this weirdo kid. Some kid who makes this kid eternally happy. And it has only been one month! No matter how wrong things go (or maybe they go right just not the right we hoped for) everything is okay. We never stop loving each other. In only 30 days I have seen the amazing life that lies ahead of us. Two kids in love like there is no tomorrow. Two silly buffalafalos.

99 days

And so we've reached the double digits in this endless wait. I guess it really doesn't seem too long ago that it was 160 days, but the wait is, nevertheless, still endless. The good thing is that there are other things to occupy my time while I wait 99 more days. Weddings seem to spread like cancer this year...well spread like something nice. Marriage isn't a cancer, I just had no other comparison at that moment. Either way, there are 2 other weddings this year, one of them this weekend. In Mexico. It's quite lovely to travel and all, but I cannot wait until it's only him and I traveling. And then another in Vegas. Vegas weddings are also very popular, last year my brother was married in Vegas. But not just little chapel weddings, actual ceremonies with official looking officiants! It is all quite exciting, but frustrating, why can't it be June already?! So amidst the traveling and weddings, there is PLANNING. It is tiring. I figured it would be stressful, but it can get so...boring...sometimes. It is a horrible thing to say it seems, but it is the truth. Looking over pictures of hairstyles, cakes, centerpieces, etc can get old very quickly. But I am glad to say, most of it is over with. Invitations? Check. Centerpieces? In progress. Favors? In progress. Cake? Check. Hairstyle? In progress. Dress? Bought.
It is also stressful though, so much money goes into this one day. Where does all this money come from?! I try not to worry too much. It's true, I'm only getting married once. Might as well make it amazing. Jeje. But truly, I am nervous for all the attention. I don't like getting attention from everyone. I like being the center of his world, but only his. Anyone else, it's just weird and makes me nervous. I can definitely do without it. But one day won't kill me and afterward HAWAII! :) Yay for banana pancakes and amazing beaches.
I won't say there are any downsides to this, I can't see any. Waiting is frustrating, but already a year has passed and now there are only 99 days left. I see him everyday and he makes me happy. I can't complain. I love him and he makes me love my life.
Well I think that is all, I just wanted to rant for a small while.


P.S.
Geocaching.com  do it.

El sol y la luna

"Cuando el Sol y la Luna se encontraron por primera vez, se apasionaron perdidamente y a partir de ahí comenzaron a vivir un gran amor.

Sucede que el mundo aun no existía y el día  que Dios decidió crearlo, les dio entonces un toque  final... ¡El brillo!

Quedó decidido también que el Sol iluminaría el día y que la Luna iluminaría la noche, siendo así, estarían obligados a vivir separados.

Les invadió una gran tristeza  y cuando se dieron cuenta de que nunca más se encontrarían, LA Luna  fue quedándose cada vez más angustiada. A pesar del brillo dado por Dios,  fue tornándose Solitaria.

EL Sol a su vez, había ganado un título de nobleza "Astro Rey", pero eso tampoco le hizo feliz.

Dios, viendo esto, les llamó y les explicó: - No debéis  estar tristes, ambos ahora  poseéis un brillo propio. Tú, Luna, iluminarás las noches frías y calientes, encantarás a los enamorados y serás frecuentemente protagonista de hermosas poesías. En cuanto a ti, Sol, sustentarás ese título porque serás el más importante de los astros, iluminarás la tierra durante el día, proporcionaras calor al ser humano y tu simple presencia hará a las personas más felices.

La Luna se entristeció mucho más con su terrible destino y lloró amargamente... y el Sol, al verla sufrir tanto, decidió que no podría dejar abatirse más, ya que tendría que darle fuerzas y ayudarle a aceptar lo que Dios había decidido.

Aún así, su preocupación era tan grande que resolvió hacer un pedido especial a Él: - Señor, ayuda a la Luna por favor,  es más frágil que yo, no soportará la soledad...

Y Dios...en su inmensa bondad... creo entonces las estrellas para hacer compañía a la Luna.

La Luna siempre que está muy triste recurre a las estrellas, que hacen de todo para consolarla, pero casi nunca lo consiguen.

Hoy, ambos viven así... separados, el Sol finge que es feliz, y la Luna no consigue disimular su tristeza.

El Sol arde de pasión por la Luna y ella vive en las tinieblas de su añoranza. Dicen que la orden de Dios era que la Luna debería de ser siempre llena y luminosa, pero no lo consiguió.... porque es mujer, y una mujer tiene fases.

Cuando es feliz, consigue ser Llena, pero cuando es infeliz es menguante y cuando es menguante ni siquiera es posible apreciar su brillo.

Luna y Sol siguen su destino. El, solitario pero fuerte; ella, acompañada de estrellas, pero débil.

Los hombres intentan, constantemente, conquistarla, como si eso fuese posible. Algunos han ido incluso hasta ella, pero han vuelto siempre solos. Nadie jamás consiguió traerla hasta la tierra, nadie, realmente, consiguió conquistarla, por más que lo intentaron.

Sucede que Dios decidió que ningún amor en este mundo fuese del todo imposible, ni siquiera el de la Luna y el del  Sol... Fue entonces que Él creó el eclipse.

Hoy Sol y Luna viven esperando ese instante,  esos raros momentos que les fueron concedidos y que tanto cuesta, sucedan.

Cuando mires al cielo, a partir de ahora, y veas que el Sol cubre la Luna, es porque se acuesta sobre ella y comienzan a amarse. Es a ese acto de amor al que se le dio el nombre de eclipse.

Es importante recordar que el brillo de su éxtasis es tan grande que se aconseja no mirar al cielo en ese momento, tus ojos pueden cegarse al ver tanto amor."

Esta es la leyenda del sol  y la luna. La leyenda que nosotros no vivimos.

hasta que el sol se escape con la luna....

Ayer desaparecí. Y hoy llovió. Dicen que solo cuando desaparezco puedo estar con el Sol. Pero no es cierto. Al menos en mi caso no. Somos el sol y la luna personificados. Somos dos personas que se encontraron y pudieron vivir el amor del sol y la luna, que ellos no pueden vivir. Lo vivimos por ellos y por nosotros. Nos amamos con tanta intensidad, como la luz que crean el sol en el dia y la luna en la noche. La única diferencia es que no estamos separados a todo tiempo. Nosotros siempre estamos juntos. Ni la puesta del sol ni la salida de la luna nos separa. En los eclipses nuestro amor se siente mas, es mas intenso. El sol no quiere salir, quiere estar con la luna tan solo unos momentos mas. Las nubes esconden a el sol y en la noche esconden a la luna. Pero no para que puedan estar juntos, sino para que no se puedan ver. En nuestro amor han habido nubes que trataron de cubrirnos del uno al otro, pero no pudieron. Nuestro amor es como una luz intensa, ninguna nube nos puede cubrir. Y nunca morira nuestro amor, como el de la luna real y el sol real.

Wedding Dresses

I am in fact getting married. It's so weird to think that this time last year, marriage was such a far away, almost impossible, thing to me. I wasn't the type of girl that dreamed of how her wedding dress would look like or who her husband would be. I didn't plan it in my mind ages before it actually came close to happening. Marriage had always been unreal to me. And no I do not come from a dysfunctional family, my parents are happily married and have been for the past 31 years. So why was it unreal to me? Because...I just didn't see myself as a wife. Like any person, I wanted to be loved, but marriage always seemed like such a huge deal such a huge commitment and for some, such a huge mistake. To me, I would meet guys and date and the whole deal, but marriage was reserved for the older years (older to me was 25 and over). But then I met him. I cannot say my plan was to marry him since we started dating. I was uneasy, I was nervous, I was cautious. But mostly, I was happy. I was loved, it was such a foreign feeling. I embraced it and then it was like everything I once thought was upside down. Marriage wasn't at all like I thought. Sure it is still a big commitment, but it shouldn't be something scary. It is exciting. It is happiness, materialized. I was scared, I was afraid it would never be for me. And then all of a sudden it was. I was happy, I AM happy. I love being loved and loving. I love that out of the 7 billion people in the whole world, there was one for me. That we could meet while we are so young and marry even this young. Who says getting married means settling down? Not at all, you meet the right person and all your dreams can come true. I guess marriage was settling down to the old Dany, but this Dany doesn't  agree. Settling and settling down happens when you give up, I found the one who won't ever give up along with me. NOW, what does this have to do with wedding dresses? Well I'm sure there is a connection, but mainly I just started typing and the above came out. But I am going to pick up my wedding dress this weekend. And out of so many dresses, I found the perfect one as well. Not the best connection, but it is something.
Happiness and life seem contradictory. But that's because you make it so. Make it not so and you'll see.


--
LUNA

My weakness

So I have always been into super heroes. And I hope that it is common knowledge that super heroes all have a weakness. So when my mind wanders and my imagination runs wild, I can become a super hero. But because all super heroes must have a weakness, I must figure out what mine is. Money is not it. I could live with little or no money. Possessions, I am not a hoarder. Living independently for the first time in my life, I have realized the worthlessness of most possessions. Things I once found so valuable are packed away in boxes that are who knows where now. ...but that is a rant for another day. Okay so I've ruled out materialistic things that could in theory ruin a super hero. The next logical weakness would be some sort of element or mineral. But that is not it either. I'm not weak like that. My weakness is something much more flesh like. It is someone. It is actually a he. He is my weakness. It's as if my common sense turns to mush when I'm around him. I don't think in terms of I, I think in terms of we. He can influence me to do whatever whenever. Some may think, what a boring weakness. But truly think, it's like being out of the controls of your mind. He takes over my mind. It is difficult to think of anything else. It seems so scary to think. And then I come back to reality and my imagination rests for a minute. I realize that he really is my weakness, but because I am only a silly girl with a big imagination it is a lovely weakness. It is what I always wanted and never realized I wanted it until I had it. It is what happens when you fall in love. And I have indeed fallen very deeply in love with him. And that makes me happy. That's all.

Happiness and love.

Love, it's that emotion that people try their whole life's to find and receive. Happiness, it's what happens when you find love. I found love and happiness found me. I am a negative person, I am generally guyish even though I'm a girl, I am a cynic, a self proclaimed existentialist. I was all of that. And then I found love and I gave love and happiness found me. I am not as negative, I am girly to a certain extent, I have hope, I care. I am happy. It is a difficult concept to grasp. That a complete stranger can love you for you just because. But is it really just because? Something about you attracted that other person right? Either way, they love you, they love YOU, enough to want to spend the rest of their life with you. How?? Why? I feel that way, I love him so much! He makes me so happy! I loved him and I had only known him for a few months. How? I cannot understand it myself and I am going through it. I often find myself pondering it. But I don't think I'll ever understand. Maybe I wouldn't be able to take it if I understood. Maybe it is something larger than humans can grasp. What is more important is that I found it! I found what some people don't find until they only have a few years of life left. What most people search for so long for. People seem to get so close to it, but something ends it. Something? No, not something, they do it to themselves. They don't fight for it. I made a promise to him and to myself. I found something no one can take away from me. No one can take my love away because I won't let them. Love is worth fighting for. He is the reason I fight. I love him and he loves me. It's as simple as that. The only ones who could end that are ourselves. It used to scare me that so many acquaintances were leaving their partners of years. And I thought, if it happened to them, it could happen to me. But even though it can, I won't let it. He won't let it. WE won't let it.
I am happy. Because of him. I love him. So much. It's that easy. That's all. ♥