I am in fact getting married. It's so weird to think that this time last year, marriage was such a far away, almost impossible, thing to me. I wasn't the type of girl that dreamed of how her wedding dress would look like or who her husband would be. I didn't plan it in my mind ages before it actually came close to happening. Marriage had always been unreal to me. And no I do not come from a dysfunctional family, my parents are happily married and have been for the past 31 years. So why was it unreal to me? Because...I just didn't see myself as a wife. Like any person, I wanted to be loved, but marriage always seemed like such a huge deal such a huge commitment and for some, such a huge mistake. To me, I would meet guys and date and the whole deal, but marriage was reserved for the older years (older to me was 25 and over). But then I met him. I cannot say my plan was to marry him since we started dating. I was uneasy, I was nervous, I was cautious. But mostly, I was happy. I was loved, it was such a foreign feeling. I embraced it and then it was like everything I once thought was upside down. Marriage wasn't at all like I thought. Sure it is still a big commitment, but it shouldn't be something scary. It is exciting. It is happiness, materialized. I was scared, I was afraid it would never be for me. And then all of a sudden it was. I was happy, I AM happy. I love being loved and loving. I love that out of the 7 billion people in the whole world, there was one for me. That we could meet while we are so young and marry even this young. Who says getting married means settling down? Not at all, you meet the right person and all your dreams can come true. I guess marriage was settling down to the old Dany, but this Dany doesn't agree. Settling and settling down happens when you give up, I found the one who won't ever give up along with me. NOW, what does this have to do with wedding dresses? Well I'm sure there is a connection, but mainly I just started typing and the above came out. But I am going to pick up my wedding dress this weekend. And out of so many dresses, I found the perfect one as well. Not the best connection, but it is something.
Happiness and life seem contradictory. But that's because you make it so. Make it not so and you'll see.
--
LUNA
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
My weakness
So I have always been into super heroes. And I hope that it is common knowledge that super heroes all have a weakness. So when my mind wanders and my imagination runs wild, I can become a super hero. But because all super heroes must have a weakness, I must figure out what mine is. Money is not it. I could live with little or no money. Possessions, I am not a hoarder. Living independently for the first time in my life, I have realized the worthlessness of most possessions. Things I once found so valuable are packed away in boxes that are who knows where now. ...but that is a rant for another day. Okay so I've ruled out materialistic things that could in theory ruin a super hero. The next logical weakness would be some sort of element or mineral. But that is not it either. I'm not weak like that. My weakness is something much more flesh like. It is someone. It is actually a he. He is my weakness. It's as if my common sense turns to mush when I'm around him. I don't think in terms of I, I think in terms of we. He can influence me to do whatever whenever. Some may think, what a boring weakness. But truly think, it's like being out of the controls of your mind. He takes over my mind. It is difficult to think of anything else. It seems so scary to think. And then I come back to reality and my imagination rests for a minute. I realize that he really is my weakness, but because I am only a silly girl with a big imagination it is a lovely weakness. It is what I always wanted and never realized I wanted it until I had it. It is what happens when you fall in love. And I have indeed fallen very deeply in love with him. And that makes me happy. That's all.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Happiness and love.
Love, it's that emotion that people try their whole life's to find and receive. Happiness, it's what happens when you find love. I found love and happiness found me. I am a negative person, I am generally guyish even though I'm a girl, I am a cynic, a self proclaimed existentialist. I was all of that. And then I found love and I gave love and happiness found me. I am not as negative, I am girly to a certain extent, I have hope, I care. I am happy. It is a difficult concept to grasp. That a complete stranger can love you for you just because. But is it really just because? Something about you attracted that other person right? Either way, they love you, they love YOU, enough to want to spend the rest of their life with you. How?? Why? I feel that way, I love him so much! He makes me so happy! I loved him and I had only known him for a few months. How? I cannot understand it myself and I am going through it. I often find myself pondering it. But I don't think I'll ever understand. Maybe I wouldn't be able to take it if I understood. Maybe it is something larger than humans can grasp. What is more important is that I found it! I found what some people don't find until they only have a few years of life left. What most people search for so long for. People seem to get so close to it, but something ends it. Something? No, not something, they do it to themselves. They don't fight for it. I made a promise to him and to myself. I found something no one can take away from me. No one can take my love away because I won't let them. Love is worth fighting for. He is the reason I fight. I love him and he loves me. It's as simple as that. The only ones who could end that are ourselves. It used to scare me that so many acquaintances were leaving their partners of years. And I thought, if it happened to them, it could happen to me. But even though it can, I won't let it. He won't let it. WE won't let it.
I am happy. Because of him. I love him. So much. It's that easy. That's all. ♥
I am happy. Because of him. I love him. So much. It's that easy. That's all. ♥
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
...it's been a while.
So it's been a while since I last wrote. I've returned to the love of my life and life is good. I'm getting married and life couldn't be more perfect, right? Not right... there is always something. Why? Because life isn't easy. Life is well, life. It sucks. But you should just take a day at a time. Some days are good and some days are not so good. But days are never "bad." Just not good. And it all depends on how you look at it. I am a pessimist by nature, which could be good sometimes as contradicting as that sounds, negativity being good. Ja! But seriously, life is so much better, even when not so good things happen, if you are positive. I work toward that everyday, even if others don't see my progress. Positivity. It seems like it would be easy right? But not to a born pessimist. But life must go on. And the day will end and a new day will begin. As long as you don't carry over the negativity from the previous day/night, it should be like beginning anew. DISCLAIMER: All the aforementioned is easier said than done. But don't give up, keep trying and things will get better.
Monday, July 19, 2010
"De repente desperto, convertida en sirena, recostada en la arena, en la mar..."
La letra de una canción no muy conocida de la banda Maná. El otro dia estaba en el carro con destino a San Diego. Y la verdad no me acuerdo de mucho de mi niñez, lo que si recuerdo es estar en el carro en los dias mas calientes del verano escuchando a las canciones mas clásicas de Maná. Y pues quise regresar a esos tiempos, me parece que las personas siempre piensan que los viejos tiempos eran los mejores, pero la verdad los tiempos no cambiaron, la gente cambio. Pero me voy desviando...ahí íbamos y yo escuchando Maná. Tienen tantas canciones que se me olvidan algunas. Y salio la canción de "La Sirena" del álbum Sueños Líquidos, mi favorito. Y yo soy de esas personas que de verdad escuchan la letra de las canciones. Y pues esta canción me pego profundo. En este momento no puedo estar con mi novio y siento como que esta canción explica muchos de mis sentimientos. Solo quiero escapar y encontrarlo como la muchacha de la canción. Y me gustaría despertar y encontrarme en los brazos de mi amado. Pero es solo un sueño....y mi amado no esta aquí cuando yo despierto. Pero saber que algún dia asi sera la vida, despertare a mi amado a un lado de mi o abrazándome. Sere la sirena mas feliz de todo el mundo! Pero por ahora es solo un sueño...
Pero por eso mi blog se llama La Sirena...hasta que encuentre otra canción con la que me identifico mas...
Pero por eso mi blog se llama La Sirena...hasta que encuentre otra canción con la que me identifico mas...
Thursday, July 1, 2010
ADVENTURES OF PEPE (and Gustavo)
So today, that "boredom" crap tried to surface, but I've felt creative today so I wrote a story about Pepe. Pepe, my friends, is my monkey friend. A picture of him and his monkey friend, Gustavo, will be posted along with this short story...
The Adventures of Pepe (and Gustavo) -WORKING TITLE-
It was a day like any other. Boredom ran rampant and Pepe the monkey was at home moping around. As Pepe sat on the couch looking at a rather interesting spot on the wall, his IMAGINATION kicked in. The spot was no longer a simple spot, it slowly transformed into a black hole. The hole started to get larger and larger and Pepe found himself unable to hold on, even his tail couldn't save him this time! Like a vacuum, the black hole sucked Pepe and his tail right in. Pepe remained collected although his facial expression said otherwise. He thought he would be engulfed by darkness, but instead he found himself floating through what seemed like a red lava lamp. The space he was floating through became narrower and narrower until a small circle of light was all he could see. Now Pepe is unlike any other monkey. His head is huge like a basketball, it looks like he swallowed a few tennis balls and his arms and legs are long and lanky. The hole was the size of a golf ball and Pepe thought, "There is no way I'm fitting through there." But as he floated closer and closer, either he became smaller or the hole became bigger because Pepe fit with room to spare. What he saw once he jumped out of the circle of light confounds him to this day. It was a land of random nonsensicalness. There were old men reciting mathematics, ghost butterflies appearing and disappearing, noises sounding at random intervals and so much more. The walls of the place were black and white, rainbow colors, wooden, sideways, stripped, argyled and any other design you could think of. Everything had an odd texture, it was soft and hard at the same time, it was fuzzy and spiky, but caused no harm when touched. Now Pepe is a very inquisitive monkey, so he likes to lick things. Everything tasted, BLAND. Well this confounded Pepe,s o he pondered it for a long while and finally realized, he couldn't smell or was it that there were no scents? In any case, this was a problem. Pepe was determined to return smell to this place, so kept walking until he came to a peculiar area that looked paint splattered. He spun in a circle as the paint splatter surrounded him, then with a loud crack it started raining paint. Curiously, Pepe was not getting wet at all. So he looked up to find out why and saw that he was shielded by a great big nimbus cloud, much like those which had been forming at home. Pepe found this situation very queer and decided he must go up to the nimbus cloud. Pepe was concentrating on finding a way up to the cloud when he realized he was floating. His tail had become like a propeller and he was floating up to the great big nimbus cloud. Once up there, Pepe saw that this cloud had the fuzzy, spiky texture so he was careful to step on it, but soon realized there was no danger. The cloud seemed to go on for forever, but in reality it only spanned a few yards. Toward the middle of the cloud, Pepe spotted a small brown speck. He walked toward it and the brown speck turned into a tiny monkey. Pepe said, "ODA!" The tiny monkey was momentarily confused, but then realized it was only a greeting. He introduced himself as Gustavo. Pepe was excited to meet another being in this strange place. He had so many questions for Gustavo, but decided that maybe the tiny monkey wasn't as friendly as he seemed. So Pepe stuck to the basics, where was Gustavo from, how long he had been in this place, what was up with the cloud, etc. After the small questioning session, Pepe was a bit more trusting but still wary. Pepe told Gustavo of the smell gone missing. After some pondering, Gustavo realized it was true. Gustavo had been in this land a loooooong time...but that's a story for another time. Gustavo told Pepe of the wise Parrot and said it would be best to ask him where the smell had gone. So the two set of on the nimbus cloud (which, coincidentally, was also a mode of transportation) in search of the wise Parrot. They floated for what seemed like ages to Pepe, but truly only a short amount of time had lapsed. Pepe's eyelids were getting droopy when the nimbus came to a halt. Up on a clay covered mountain they found the wise Parrot who bore a strong resemblance to the great revolutionary hero el Che Guevara. They asked this wise Parrot what had become of the smells and the Parrot replied in rhyme: :If your olfactories you've lost / a solution can be found / at no cost / float down to the ground / where you will find / a sight that blows the find / swallow one complete / to gain the sense so sweet." Utterly confused, the pair floated down wondering what sight awaited them. At first this place looked like an ordinary grassy field, but soon they saw mushrooms rising, growing as they rose. Pepe quickly realized that to swallow a mushroom whole it would have to be smaller. So he ran to the field as fast as he could and ripped two brightly colored mushrooms. And as soon as he ripped them off the dirt, they stopped growing. He made his way carefully to Gustavo and handed him the smaller mushroom. They both swallowed the fungi at the same time, but Pepe shut his eyes tight in fear of what would happen. He waited a few seconds and opened his eyes. He found himself on the couch at home. A bit disoriented, he realized it had all been a very strange convoluted dream. Pepe was quite relieved, he was afraid he would never return. *MEEP* Startled by the noise, Pepe almost jumped. It was coming from the armrest of the couch. Very slowly Pepe looked over at it...he saw............GUSTAVO!
(TO BE CONTINUED...)
The Adventures of Pepe (and Gustavo) -WORKING TITLE-
It was a day like any other. Boredom ran rampant and Pepe the monkey was at home moping around. As Pepe sat on the couch looking at a rather interesting spot on the wall, his IMAGINATION kicked in. The spot was no longer a simple spot, it slowly transformed into a black hole. The hole started to get larger and larger and Pepe found himself unable to hold on, even his tail couldn't save him this time! Like a vacuum, the black hole sucked Pepe and his tail right in. Pepe remained collected although his facial expression said otherwise. He thought he would be engulfed by darkness, but instead he found himself floating through what seemed like a red lava lamp. The space he was floating through became narrower and narrower until a small circle of light was all he could see. Now Pepe is unlike any other monkey. His head is huge like a basketball, it looks like he swallowed a few tennis balls and his arms and legs are long and lanky. The hole was the size of a golf ball and Pepe thought, "There is no way I'm fitting through there." But as he floated closer and closer, either he became smaller or the hole became bigger because Pepe fit with room to spare. What he saw once he jumped out of the circle of light confounds him to this day. It was a land of random nonsensicalness. There were old men reciting mathematics, ghost butterflies appearing and disappearing, noises sounding at random intervals and so much more. The walls of the place were black and white, rainbow colors, wooden, sideways, stripped, argyled and any other design you could think of. Everything had an odd texture, it was soft and hard at the same time, it was fuzzy and spiky, but caused no harm when touched. Now Pepe is a very inquisitive monkey, so he likes to lick things. Everything tasted, BLAND. Well this confounded Pepe,s o he pondered it for a long while and finally realized, he couldn't smell or was it that there were no scents? In any case, this was a problem. Pepe was determined to return smell to this place, so kept walking until he came to a peculiar area that looked paint splattered. He spun in a circle as the paint splatter surrounded him, then with a loud crack it started raining paint. Curiously, Pepe was not getting wet at all. So he looked up to find out why and saw that he was shielded by a great big nimbus cloud, much like those which had been forming at home. Pepe found this situation very queer and decided he must go up to the nimbus cloud. Pepe was concentrating on finding a way up to the cloud when he realized he was floating. His tail had become like a propeller and he was floating up to the great big nimbus cloud. Once up there, Pepe saw that this cloud had the fuzzy, spiky texture so he was careful to step on it, but soon realized there was no danger. The cloud seemed to go on for forever, but in reality it only spanned a few yards. Toward the middle of the cloud, Pepe spotted a small brown speck. He walked toward it and the brown speck turned into a tiny monkey. Pepe said, "ODA!" The tiny monkey was momentarily confused, but then realized it was only a greeting. He introduced himself as Gustavo. Pepe was excited to meet another being in this strange place. He had so many questions for Gustavo, but decided that maybe the tiny monkey wasn't as friendly as he seemed. So Pepe stuck to the basics, where was Gustavo from, how long he had been in this place, what was up with the cloud, etc. After the small questioning session, Pepe was a bit more trusting but still wary. Pepe told Gustavo of the smell gone missing. After some pondering, Gustavo realized it was true. Gustavo had been in this land a loooooong time...but that's a story for another time. Gustavo told Pepe of the wise Parrot and said it would be best to ask him where the smell had gone. So the two set of on the nimbus cloud (which, coincidentally, was also a mode of transportation) in search of the wise Parrot. They floated for what seemed like ages to Pepe, but truly only a short amount of time had lapsed. Pepe's eyelids were getting droopy when the nimbus came to a halt. Up on a clay covered mountain they found the wise Parrot who bore a strong resemblance to the great revolutionary hero el Che Guevara. They asked this wise Parrot what had become of the smells and the Parrot replied in rhyme: :If your olfactories you've lost / a solution can be found / at no cost / float down to the ground / where you will find / a sight that blows the find / swallow one complete / to gain the sense so sweet." Utterly confused, the pair floated down wondering what sight awaited them. At first this place looked like an ordinary grassy field, but soon they saw mushrooms rising, growing as they rose. Pepe quickly realized that to swallow a mushroom whole it would have to be smaller. So he ran to the field as fast as he could and ripped two brightly colored mushrooms. And as soon as he ripped them off the dirt, they stopped growing. He made his way carefully to Gustavo and handed him the smaller mushroom. They both swallowed the fungi at the same time, but Pepe shut his eyes tight in fear of what would happen. He waited a few seconds and opened his eyes. He found himself on the couch at home. A bit disoriented, he realized it had all been a very strange convoluted dream. Pepe was quite relieved, he was afraid he would never return. *MEEP* Startled by the noise, Pepe almost jumped. It was coming from the armrest of the couch. Very slowly Pepe looked over at it...he saw............GUSTAVO!
(TO BE CONTINUED...)
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